The CE Diet

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/09/11/opinion/sunday/before-you-spend-26000-on-weight-loss-surgery-do-this.html

 

Technical Difficulties

The amazing announcement we wanted to bring to your attention has been de-railed  by technical difficulties, which we are in the process if correcting.  In the meantime, we hope you are enjoying the last weeks of summer and spending time with friends and family.  Because to quote the great Art Rust Junior, "yesterday is a canceled check tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the time you have so spend it wisely."

Fantastic Work All Around

Three cheers for United Airlines, which treated a friend who experienced a bit of trouble recently very well.

he wrote: 

I am a dedicated customer and mileageplus member who will go out of my way to fly with United. I do not often provide feedback, because my travel experiences with United are typically excellent. However, this
one was rough:

We started in Wisconsin and took a very easy flight (with United) to Ohare in Chicago. The layover time was quick and we made our way swiftly to the gate, which was located in a different concourse. Upon arrival, the two gate agents were very rude. Even though we had just come from a (smaller, mind-you) United flight, these two ladies decided our carry on luggage was not small enough to fit in the overhead space. Knowing our luggage was the right size, I suggested (and then proved to them) that they were incorrect. However, in the meantime the gate agents had forced us to re-pack our belongings before entering the plane. Ultimately, they caused an unfortunate and emotional scene that was very avoidable. They should have known better.

When I got onto the plane, I had the unfortunate luck to be seated in a chair with a tray table that does not work. As a result I had to use my computer on my lap, which was very  straining. To make matters worse, the wifi was not working on our flight.

 

united's response: 

Please accept our sincerest apologies for the many inconveniences that you endured with the lack of service provided bout our Chicago gate agents, broken tray table, nonworking WiFi service on your recent flight.  We truly appreciate you taking the time to point out the many issues that you encountered as we work hard to correct problems brought to our attention.  We understand how disappointing this was for
you and we apologize for the factors that contributed to your overall dissatisfaction.  Although we can't undo what you experienced, we can work to correct it.  Your feedback and experience has been recorded and will be reviewed and addressed internally.  I realize my apology cannot erase what happened, but I hope it helps to know we take your concerns very seriously.

As a gesture of goodwill I will be sending you a $150 Electronic Travel Certificate for the inconvenience.  You will receive this within 5 business days via email.

 

Res ipsa loquitur

CE and Mrs. CE are putting the finishing touches on our explosive new post which we hope to have to you in the next few days. In the interim however, we must make a mea culpa. In our quest for truth and fairness in marketing and services and products we attempt to make every effort to be sure that our criticisms are justified.  To err is human and CE must apologize to Arnie and his army for the fact that CE did not thoroughly read the instructions on the thirst quencher package prior to using it. Had CE read the instructions there is a great likelihood that he would not have chugged the bottle and the product would currently be a staple on CE's shelf.  Thank you to CE's daughter for bringing this matter to our attention and for helping us to rectify it.  

It's going to be amazing

Please stay with us because with just over two months before we the people ( for better or worse ) transfer power back to Bill and Hillary, CE believes it is time to unveil the number 1 issue of what is wrong with the citizens of our great country.  Our next post will be “amazing”.

Fragile

 'Fragile this end up-do not lay down'

Does fedex care? A picture or two tells it all.

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Bank of America

CE received what he and Mrs. CE thought was an amazing offer from Bank of America.  The choice of 0% interest rate until March 2018 or 1.99% until June 2018.  WOW! Thank you Bank Of America.  But as the good books says, “there is no such thing as a free lunch” or in other words caveat emptor-buyer beware.  I stopped by our local BOA branch and spoke with customer service rep Leslie.  Leslie reviewed the form with me and although it took a while and although the FAQ section did not refer to any fees, we did manage to locate the section that advises that for each transaction the bank charges a 4% fee.  So in other words in the Bank of America world 0 =s 4.

p.s we are working on an explosive post. So stay tuned.

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Means to the End

Those citizens fortunate enough to not rely on Social Security for their retirement needs should be given the option to waive any or all  Social Security benefits and transfer the waived payments to a “verifiable” “lock box” which will be used to create a social services “safety net”

Swinging into high gear

CE’s campaign has swung into high gear.

Let’s agree that “change” is needed and let’s also agree that with change comes sacrifice.  In the coming days CE’s team will present ideas that will hopefully recharge our batteries and lead us towards an American renewal of spirit and success.

who we are, ethical and moral considerations - Platform statement #1

In order to ensure a more perfect union and to realize our founders goal of E Pluribus Unum (out of the many we become one), it has become self-evident that each of us must strive to be inclusive and make every effort to refer to others as individuals and not define others by individual demographics. We should be defined as individuals because inside we are all the same.

Throwing my hat into the ring

At the urging of Mrs. CE I have decided to avail myself of the caveatemptorbuyerbeware forum to announce my write in campaign for president of United States of America.  In the coming days my team and I will set forth our plan to reaffirm how great America truly is and we will announce a roadmap to continue the remarkable journey that was begun by our founding fathers more than 200 years ago.
 

No Foam, No Room (No Dice)

Dear starbucks -

my typical order is a venti soy Late no foam no room--on occasion when there is either too much foam or too much room I ask the Barista to either add some steamed soy or to give me a 1/2 short cup of steamed soy to fill in the cup. Usually my request is received with a shrug and sometimes a smile but on a rare occasion or two i have been refused. Please advise me as to what i should reasonably expect.--thank you
 

Hello Michael,

Thank you for contacting Starbucks. I just finished reading your email and appreciate you taking the time to share your concerns with us.

Thanks for giving us the opportunity to fix something that went wrong.

Sincerely,

Brittney J

customer service

No Tomato (part II)

For lunch the other day caveat emptor went to Milos see photo and ordered two sandwiches with extra tomato. Now there are several reasons why we order extra tomato on our sandwiches. Typically when you go to a sandwich shop in New York the sandwiches are already prepared but when you go to a specialty sandwich shop and you have the ability to request a little bit something extra then you are most generally assured of getting a fresh sandwich.  On this particular day although the extra tomato had been ordered sadly when we sat down at our desks to have lunch the tomato was nowhere to be found.  Caveat emptor buyer beware


 

Oatmeal

As do millions of others around the world caveat emptor enjoys a hearty bowl of oatmeal to begin his day. There is no better morning then when Mrs. CE gets up and provides a healthy nutritious beginning of the day so why is there a problem?  Since a picture tells 1000 words I will let you decide whether there is an issue here.