He claims he wants to Make American Great Again (TM). Well, I do too. That is why -- before a trip out west to see my daughter-in-law's leftist relatives in California -- I ordered a hat like the one The Donald has. But when it arrived, I discovered two problems: (1) It read "Make Americans Great Again" -- who ever said Americans are the problem?! (2) It was made it China -- that's not what I call winning.
When it comes to presidential politics, Caveat Emptor!
I've overheard some pretty outrageous Starbucks orders. “Grande, triple shot, two-pump, extra hot, half caf', caramel macchiato.”
Gimme a break.
About half of that line makes sense to me. But for a typical Starbucks barista, it's one of 100 successive orders coming at you. Impressive, ey?
That is, until I make two simple requests: No Foam and No Room.
I say it every time. And without fail, they screw it up.
Asking for "No Room" should be more than adequate instruction. They should understand it, enough said.
Foam is tasteless - it's air, filling up the space with nothingness.
Caveat Emptor:
The glass is almost always half empty.
Caveat Emptor:
Hotels will never give you the best room on the first try.
It might seem like a pain to schlep around from one room to another until they give you a good one. But it's a necessary evil: the only way to get the room you rightly deserve (and, if you're a big enough pain in the ass, a free upgrade).
I've posted a 3 minute film chronicling our adventures at a FL hotel where the "king size beds" they advertise are really queens and a "water view" means you see a sliver of the pool.
Email me for the password to watch the video below.
Shedding nachas.
Caveat Emptor: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
My son writing about a recent experience at a NY cafe
No build your own omelette? I suppose the limit of 'three eggs any style' is open to interpretation. In any event, this place is entirely inflexible. Home fries but no french fries? Salad but no tomato. Seriously, why strive to provide good customer service when you can offer prime outdoor seating in the middle of union square.
Great point. No reason.
My daughter-in-law guest posting about a recent experience at a nail salon in NJ:
This nail salon has terrible customer service. After nearly completing my manicure, the manicurist and manager tried to charge me an additional $5 (for a $12 manicure) to apply a final coat of polish. Nobody bothered to tell me at the beginning of the manicure, or when I was paying, that I would be charged extra to apply the final coat of a second color. I get manicures all the time and this has never happened to me before. Moreover, rather than apologize for the confusion, the manager stood on principle and refused to apply the final coat of polish unless I paid the extra money. To make matters worse, she said she would rather entirely redo my manicure than apply the final coat of polished I selected at the outset of the appointment.
Caveat Emptor:
Never order french fries without specifying that you would like them "extra crispy." Even so, they will probably come out too soggy and not hot enough.
9 times out of 10 you are best off demanding a fresh order of fries immediately after they arrive at the table.
Which brings me to my next topic: fancy dinners. I dread them.
Fancy people who order complicated menu items at fancy dinners are even more horrifying!
Can a guy get a decent hamburger?
Caveat Emptor:
When ordering a hamburger at the same time as others ordering more complex meals one should always ask the server whether they're capable of timing the preparation of diverse foods so as to serve them fresh and hot to everyone at the table, at the same time.
Caveat emptor: two heads are not always better than one
Especially when they are making 1.5x pay on a weekend, on the taxpayers' dime.
Caveat emptor: your tax dollars are at work
With all this dough, you'd think they could manage to plow the roads.
No soup for you.